A Story Cometh

Hello all.

It has been quite a while since I've blogged, so here are some quick updates.

1. The Secret Project has been finished. It's called "the Pairing List" and I wrote it with my fantastic author of a cousin, Corey Evans. We wrote it as a wedding gift for our cousin Erin and new cousin-in-law Dan. We wish them the best, and hope that they liked it enough to forget that we're cheap. The secrecy was so that it would be a surprise for them and the family. We'll be trying to publish soon.

2. Speaking of publishing, I'm turning a blog into a novel. I hope I can gain some followers and a fan-base this way, but if not, that's fine too. I've got some friends that might like to sit through a story, even if it's just because they don't want to offend me or because I can Punch Really Hard. I'll be writing it by section and chapter, unless that doesn't work. So, I'll make you aware of the Chapter, and then post in sections within. The sections will vary in length, but hopefully will be substantial, and will come every MONDAY NIGHT, starting when I get the first section written. I will post a link to this Novel Blog when I get it up and running. The title of the story will be the title of the blog. I hope.

3. I'll be updating this more frequently with the usual inane bullshit and tries at explaining either how awesome or stupid #2 turns out to be as I get going on it.

4. I got a new job as a game slinger at Gamestop. Time to save money and think about an actual future at some point.

5. Uncharted 2 and Brütal Legend are just so rad.

6. Zombieland was sweet, need to go see Wild Things asap. And maybe catch Paranormal Activity.

Until next time, that'll do pigs.

The End of the Tunnel

The secret project nears completion, with it's final date being this monday before the editing look-throughs. I think it's turning out even more fantastic than I had originally thought, and the idea took turns in ways I could have never imagined. It was definitely a process and a journey, and I will have a complete blog post on it when it has been revealed.

The script is well on it's way, and I'm sitting here in the coffee shop editing and polishing the first act to give to an eager producer in LA. The due date for that is next Wednesday. (Self applied by myself and my writing partner.)

I also may have cooked up another idea last night, and have been discussing it with fellow writers.

AND I want to get to my ghost story. I can't let that one slip, it's scratching to be let out of my brain-cage.

I fear a day when the idea bank runs dry. For now, though, it doesn't look like it's soon.

Now I just need to figure out how to get ****ing paid to do this stuff. The love is still strong for it, though!

Music and Writing

Do you listen to music as you write, or right before to kick-start your brain? Sometimes I can listen to music while simultaneously writing, but other times I need silence. - Corey

Good question.

I would say that 3/4 of the time that I write, I listen to music while I do so. To me it's not distracting and if I have an idea of the scene, I will actually select something that fits the mood of what I'm getting into.

That doesn't necessarily mean, however, that everything stays nice and tidy as I'm birthing words. I will more often than not stray to some other mood, or just not be digging the music, which makes me change it (the music) or what I'm writing. This is a good thing, something that I could claim I'm counting on, so as to shift what I'm writing from what I planned in to the unknown of creativity. Making those ideas flow. Y'know.

I also find inspiration in good music, which drives me to want to create things for other people to like as much as I'm liking track seven or three or twelve.

On the other hand, when I want silence, it's when I'm most focused and set in my ways on what I want to write, or that I'm in a very emotional state (I'm such a pansy) in which I don't want anything to add to or take away from it. Maybe I'm super happy and just want that to reflect in my work, or maybe something went horribly wrong and I'm writing to get it out. I need that concentration to even get me motivated to write when I'm in such a mood.

Right. Thanks for the question, Corey, it helped me update.

I was writing a bit of my secret project a few seconds ago, actually, not listening to music. Only because Allison (my sister) called and interrupted and I had to hit pause, which then led me to take a bigger break. A productive one, so thanks to Allison for this post too.

And back to writing.

Of Muffins and Coffee

Hello again.

I suppose this will serve as a warm up before I start my notes on this script once more. I've chosen again to write the notes by hand, for some reason the process of doing it that way helps me follow through. Also, I suppose, I look a bit more professional to these people occupying this coffee shop. That's a plus. I hope one day they'll ask me for a business card, and I can say, "No."

I am also currently listening to a Rayess Bek album that I bought the other day. He is pretty freaking rad, flipping between languages as he hip-hops in my brain. I wonder if it'll be conducive to good writing. Haven't tried yet, tonight will be a test.

And so I sit, with a cup of coffee and a chocolate chocolate chip muffin, ready to write.

Thanks for the company.

(I read Neil Gaiman's blog, and it seems like he has things to say all the time. Maybe it's because he gets asked questions. Ask me questions. Or maybe its because he keeps bees. Or maybe its because he is an accomplished, famous writer. Whatever.)

A Breath of Fresh Air

I've gotten second wind in my writing life. It seems like every day this week I've been off to the park or coffee shop just to write and work on things. I'm currently making notes (handwritten. that's just how I felt, and it got me going. do what it takes.) on some of my partner's section in our anti-hero script. This is long overdue, and I'm a douche bag. I get it. Better late than never, because we've got a good idea that just happens to be marketable. It's not every day you get those.

As a writer, you can't only just write things with marketing in mind. You just gotta write it down. Evict it from living in your head and make it set up shop written down somewhere. Even if it isn't complete or done, just get it out. It'll get all jumbled and overwhelming if you don't purge every once in a while and I need to get a lot better at keeping my hand on that release valve. I'm consciously aware afterwards, however, if what I've barfed onto my laptop's hard drive can be published or marketed... though, I have never really done either of those. I can just sense it. Just because I rarely go out on the limb to try and get stuff out there (YET.), doesn't mean I'm not right about feeling that stuff out. I've trusted this feeling before with other people's work to some success, so maybe that means I'm a better reader/editor/gut feeler/producer kind of guy than I am a writer.

Anywho, on the same good news front in the realm of writing: the project I'm writing with He Who Must Not Be Named (yes, that one.) is going swimmingly. After my bout of writer's block, a bit of inspiration came from an amazingly inventive and well written section by him. He single handedly kicked me in the idea factory and I ended up producing my section way before my deadline. So, thanks to him. What we're writing means a lot to me, and probably him, so whatever it ends up being, I'm sure we'll both love it and the process.

Time to flip back up to the opening thoughts of this post and talk a little about where to write. The short answer is: Wherever pushes you to fucking write.

I've rarely found that I get a lot done at home; there are too many distractions. Maybe that's just what I tell myself, but I end up surfing the web or playing videogames. Watching a movie or whatever. None of that is bad until it eclipses what I want to get done. So I leave. I may still have internet access at these places, but I am more embarrassed to check Facebook and read really nerdy things in public. Fark is okay, I can read that as a break out there in the world, but checking Gamepro religiously is just... well... unacceptable for some reason. It probably would creep others out just as it does me. I still listen to music no matter where I go though, and I can take breaks just to stop and watch people as well. If I want, order a drink and a muffin. And write write write.

I spend so much time in my room at home that the idea of Getting Out uncorks my creativity. Isn't that the basis of much imagination? To get away? For me it is.

But alas, the Grind is closing as I write this, so I will clean up my dishes and head home. Probably play xbox until tomorrow. Have a wonderful whenever-you-read-this, everyone.

Jobs.

It's been a while, but I thought I'd update for the sake of updating.

I, like most of the nation, am looking for a job. A job with benefits that I do not hate, preferably in Ohio or in eastern Indiana or western Pennsylvania. Hopefully Ohio so I can just go to school here while doing it. Grad school. Yep.

Jobs are scarce. There is still talk of me nailing down a job with that producer in LA, which would be sweet, because then I could work from Ohio, and I'd be doing something I love. No benefits, but I could totally go to school while working it. Win win. Which reminds me, I'll call him today to see what's up. I think he's got a short film in production this month that I was invited to be on the set of, but due to financial woes I will no be able to. Yes, it IS a cool horror film. I wish I could check it out.

MONEY, for god sakes, people. MONEY.

Well, back to this project I'm working on/taking "breaks" to look for jobs.

Maybe a full update later, complete with my awesome sense of humor.

WARMING UP

A lot has happened since we last danced, blog, but I want to focus on writing. So here's a brief list of all that happened:

- Driving

- Girlfriend

- Philadelphia

- Golf

- 4th of July

- Bachelor's Party

- Wedding

- Grandma's 80th Birthday

- Puppy Visit

- Driving

- Girlfriend Leaving

- Golf

There. That's about it. All of it was good.

Now, writing.

Didn't do any. That list is devoid of it.

It's my turn for a deadline on the Secret Project, and I'll be working on that next. Blog is first, blog is warm up. Then after the SP, I'll move on to the script that has been hell of neglected by me, and I'll try and take some weight off Mike's shoulders. At least I've read what he's written. That's a start.

Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I lied. I did do a bit of writing while I was gone, and it ties into what I want to pontificate on tonight. I wrote a speech, for the wedding, as one of the best men.

Public speaking is horrifying. I was talking to my cousin at my Gma's birthday party and he threw out a staggering statistic that more people think that public speaking is scarier than death than the other way around. People would rather die than have to speak in front of people. I blame technology... and that speaking in front of people is a literal evil.

I knew I had wanted to talk about us as friends, our group, instead of focus specifically on Skip and Emily. This was a risk, and the internet told me not to do this. It was their day, after all, and I should be focused on them. I just really wanted to get to the point of how much the groom's side of the wedding party loved Skip, and that even after everything we've been through, that it didn't mean shit in the face of us still being friends like we used to be. In a way, reassuring him that nothing was really going to change now that he's married.

This, my friends, is the UNEDITED, not-note card version of the speech that I wrote. A lot of it was kept in, but I did cut stuff out and reword things. I will try to remember and mark what I changed:

Hi there – sorry to interrupt any scintillating conversations that might have been going on, but I’ve been told a few speeches are in order, and that because I’m a best man I’m require—I mean--- lucky enough to take part.

Many of you don’t know me I’m sure, my name’s Brian, and I’ve known Skip for about 11 years. I’ve known Emily for much less, having met her only a few times because of distances and school, and that’s probably why I wasn’t chosen to be a maid of honor as well.

I wasn’t quite sure how to go about writing a wedding toast, so probably like every single other person giving a speech tonight, I googled it. All the websites claimed that I should walk the fine line between being delightfully charming and intensely funny, both things I probably have never been, regardless of what you’ve been told.

[If you look at this table of groomsmen and the groom, you will see a group of friends that has not changed at all in the decade we’ve known each other, no matter where in the country we have been hiding this whole time. I’ve always been told that I’m not supposed to talk about the bachelor party after it has been completed, but we are a different breed of friends, and there was a moment that I’d like to recall that sums up my point.] Taken out. Thought it was redundant.

Kyle, the other Best Man, began to tell me how much he loves how we as a group can just pick right back up where we left off. That’s it’s like we never went our separate ways. [I took this in for a moment and decided, yes, what with all the mountain dew and Super Mario Brothers we were playing it was as if this was just a normal weekend in 8^th grade.] Changed and reworded and reinserted later in the speech.

[And while writing this and recalling what Kyle had said, I was very pleased that I FINALLY had a segway into being able to talk about the glory days of middle school.] Reworded. We were all locked into the three year “smart kid” classes together, and we all had our categories. Isaac always seemed to have money, Jason could remember and quote Algebra books, I think, Brent read more books than were published those three years, and I was your average “heartthrob.” Skip, now Skip was the quiet one. [The doodler.] Kept his trapper keeper to himself and worked on his art. We cornered every kind of personality category in our group. We were the unstoppable Justice League of dance-going, button up shirt-wearing, afraid to ask girls to dance, cologne wearing boys and we ruled that school in eighth grade. Who were we to guess then that we’d conquer those fears of girls and be getting married someday. [Who would have guessed that that quiet artist of us would be the first to get on that train to marriage town?] Removed completely, and I regret it.

And then in 9^th grade, everything changed. Brent was the first to go. He moved on to St. Pete’s here in Mansfield, paving the way for Skip to meet Emily a few years down the road. I moved shortly after Brent. It wasn’t great, but it taught us early on how to deal with what would come in college anyway, and it made us mature and grow and realize that we had a different form of friendship, and that every time we would be together it very well could be just like 8^th grade all over again. Plus, like I said, it led to Skip meeting Emily.

Skip: I am, we are, honored to be here in your wedding as your friends and your family. Just because I didn’t bring up anything embarrassing about you tonight doesn’t mean I won’t later on. Watch yourself.

Emily: Take care of our dear friend when we’re not around. We know he will be the very best husband he can.

Please raise your glasses:

To this beautiful wedding and the parents who provided it and worked to raise the two wonderful and beautiful people married tonight.

And to Skip and Emily, I’m so honored to know you both. And I know I speak for the whole room when I say we wish you all the happiness and luck in the world. Congratulations.

I was told by being singled out by some people a few time afterwards that it was good. No, no just by my Girlfriend or my Dad. And that was a bizarre feeling for me. I'll tell you why it was weird and a shock to hear that I had done well: The night before, I started to panic. I thought that everything I had written was lame and that my jokes sucked The Big One. I was afraid that I hadn't talked about Skip enough, let alone Emily. But I think that the main reason I was worried was that it was the first time outside of school that I had to creatively write something specifically to be read aloud.

Now, I guess everything should probably sound decent read aloud if it's good, but I hadn't ever thought of that when writing short stories and the such (other than dialogue). How was I to cue myself to read it a certain way, what way did I want to read it? Would I sound stupid? Is the language pretty or just plain stupid?

Not only that, but I'm not even remotely the most confident when it comes to things that I've written that aren't to be read aloud. Let alone confident in front of a hundred people. Strangers. Their eyes fixated on me, ready to stab my neck and face if I say something that falls flat. Those horrible, judging people. *shudder*

By the time I was transferring and doing last minute panic-induced editing to note cards, it was too late to write a new, less lame speech in my mind. I couldn't wing it, that would have been bad for me. No, I had to say, "Oh well" and be aware of the cards burning in my jacket pocket the whole day. There wasn't anything I told myself to be reassuring. No "it'll be okay" or "they don't know you, so fuck them and their thoughts" or "come on dude, 'marriage town' will absolutely kill." I just had to go through with it. And hey, it didn't turn out so bad. People laughed where I wanted them to, I wasn't shaking very noticeably, and I got through it. Everyone liked it, and it was a very cool feeling...

... a feeling that will be forgotten and replaced with fear the next time I have to publicly speak again, I'm sure.

Okay. Warm up complete. Onto the SECRET PROJECT OF INFINITE COOL AND GENIUS.